Day 1 - The Epiphany

The Epiphany

The day started out as normal as it can for a busy mother of two middle school children, with chores and more chores and a bank rec. Then I said, I need a walk and get away from this mess, and so with a sinkful of dishes looking at me balefully, I firmly said Goodbye, and walked out the door. Glorious 55F weather in December... this is a godsend. I went for a brisk walk to the Earl Reservoir and back... Now it was time to tackle that sink and stove... Before I knew it, the kids are home.

And then... drum roll please, I do the dreaded login to the Parent portal of my son's school grades system. Lo and behold to not much of a surprise really, there is another missed homework and a further plummeting of an important ELA grade. I launch into my usual tirade (I don't know how the kids handle it) and go down the whole path of the dangers of not doing a homework, all the way to a possible homeless life. I am stretching the truth, I am sure my kids know it too, but I think I am making a point.... after expending all the precious energy from the brisk walk, I slink into my room for a quick shower before all the activities that are already planned and part of my Tue evening....

Wham! It hits me... this kid is making a choice to not do one homework, and risks getting yelled at, lectured, losing the phone, TV time, and I don't know what else, for what is essentially a 8-10 minute homework. It does not make sense. How many times have we been through this cycle? I dare not count, I am afraid of the answer. When will I ever want something different, and also get it? Starts with character (or so I think) which I know develops out of habits. What does that make me?  A habitual yeller ( I am sure there is no word like that, but I am inventing one for me). Don't I make the choice to react the same way for the same reason, over and over again? Possibly my son has bad habits when it comes to some homework!!!! wow, a simple explanation and right under my nose! How could I have missed that? When was the last time I taught him to create a new habit? have I even discussed that with him... Need I say this, ok, as a confession, NO, is the answer...

With an idea, my mind races... is it not great to start a 21 day journey with my son and start with one habit? Sure it is... The way to eat an elephant is one bite at a time for 21 days!!
(You must have been wondering what all the elephant nonsense was about anyway! It is just another name for a seemingly impossible task.)

Day 1 of the habit blog is born!

I decided to have the conversation with my son with less of a lecture, and more of a team thing. I know I have a lot of things I would like to add as new habits, and so does he. More importantly I chose a couple of things he does in a very responsible way, like getting to school on time. In the last 4 years that he has been walking to the bus stop, he has never once missed the bus. This year due to Symphonic Band, he evens makes a 6:25 bus, without even waking me up. Showered, dressed, cereal for breakfast, lunch packed, and off to school. That is impressive to me for a 13 year old. So I pointed this out to him, and said, see, you are showing responsible behaviour, we are just going to stretch it to homework, everyday, 21 days!

My end of the bargain is a 10 minute meditation and walking at least 2 miles a day, and he is my police. You know he is going to do a good job...

Report for the day

* I have thankfully already walked 5 miles today, so my first part of the bargain is a cinch. For the second part however, I am needing to find a time and place to make it a regular part of my life. I picked up the abundance 21 day meditation series by Deepak Chopra, I have all the notes from it. The centering thought is Today, I behold all the abundance that surrounds me. I use the Sanskrit mantra So Hum and meditate to some soft music for 10 minutes.

* As I am writing this blog, Ben is still doing his homework. He finished all the written work, and is now preparing for a math test tomorrow. So I call that a job well done... 

Check back tomorrow for Day 2 of our first journey!